Yes, it’s Me, and I do live in Belize for a part of the year. Why? You know, you have some nerve asking that question. After all, you guys all get to go somewhere warm in the winter and I don’t criticize. Not that I’m saying that Heaven gets cold. After all, it’s Heaven, so it’s perfect. But everyone, even the One True God, needs a break from routine. So I take My break in Belize, because it’s paradise on Earth, and I can say that as an authority on paradise. Belize is also endlessly entertaining, just that you don’t know that because nobody tweets about it. And yes, there are much warmer places, but the smell of brimstone and the screaming of the damned is hardly conducive to divine relaxation.
Up in Heaven someone always needs something done or fixed, and St Peter’s pretty capable, but some people just have to deal with the Boss, or they’re not happy. If the harp music isn’t too loud, it’s that the nectar is too sweet , or not sweet enough. Even in Heaven, people get picky. Maybe it’s the 7 stars that the Michelin Guide gave us that creates such high expectations, but let Me tell you, maintaining eternal patience is hard work. When I’m in Belize I turn off the Celestial Blackberry (yes, we still have those), and then I have a little more time to spend blogging.
So stay tuned, and I give you My Word that My Word will be a little more up to date than that Book I wrote a while back. Yes, it’s still a bestseller, but so embarrassingly old-fashioned that I blush to read it these days.
By the way, Happy Halloween. Did you like my costume? Yes, that was Me, the one who…no, not that one, the other one, in red. Oh, never mind.