Deus Satirarum

I don’t know why, but nobody ever credits me with having a sense of humor. The fact is, if God had a God, mine would be George Carlin. In fact, he and I have a drink most evenings, and if you were there for those conversations, you’d be dead.

See what I mean? I have an awesome sense of humor. Like the song says, I’m an awesome God. Anyway, everybody keeps using an old, outdated book to tell each other what I’m saying. And based on the ridiculous assertions I’ve heard, I figured I better get on my celestial laptop and speak for Myself.

One last thing: we get great bandwidth up here, you’d be in Heaven with these speeds. I mean figuratively as well as literally. And the technological improvements since Steve Jobs got here…well…

So anyway, enjoy my blog. Life’s too short not to. And don’t be scared because I said that, I didn’t mean you’ll die tomorrow. Well, some of you will, but not you. Or maybe it is you, oops!

Anyway, don’t focus on that, focus on the funny stuff.


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